Tiffany Harper

Who Am I?

I read this today over at Incourage and I have to say it completely spoke to me.

I also feel intimidated by other women: 

Those women who possess this sweet and loving demeanor where I am loud and obnoxious.  

Women who are in touch with their emotions and can describe what they are feeling to others.

 I have the hardest time at just letting people  what I really want to do for the day....let alone describe my emotions.  

Women who appear to have this unique bond with God that I don't seem to have. 

Yet I too confess Him as Lord and Savior. So why do I feel like I am falling short of being a woman? Why do I feel as if I am not good enough just the way I am? Why do I feel the need to emulate someone else?

Holly's post said it all really. We are not enough, but in Him we are so much more than pretty. We are precious in His eyes.  We are the daughter of the TRUE KING!  If I really embraced this truth, if I really kept it safe in my heart. If I really and truly refused to listen to Satan telling me that I am not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, creative enough, motherly enough, loving enough, spiritual enough.....then Satan's lies would on deaf ears.  My heart and my mind would not receive them because I chose to listen to God's truth.

Philippians says: "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." (Phil. 4:8 NAS)

My fellow sisters, Satan will NEVER provide truth or anything lovely to you.  He is the father of all lies and deceit.  As women, with our gentle hearts we can often fall prey to his lies.  I pray you don't! I pray you embrace your uniqueness in Christ.  In how God designed and fashioned you.  

The photo above is from my iPhone.  It is blurry, imperfect.  And it is one of my favorites of myself.  I am hardly wearing any makeup, I have dark circles under my eyes due to being up countless hours with a newborn (and a 3 year old but that is a different post) and I am physically exhausted.  But I love this photo because it speaks the truth.  I may not be a raging beauty, but I am beautiful in Christ.  I may be imperfect, but praise the Lord that He sent His only Son on the cross to bear my sins when in reality, I should have been there instead.  That with His blood being shed for me and for us all, we are made PERFECT.  

I am going to do my best to embrace this little domestic diva wannabe, as imperfect as she is....and strive to be more like Him. To remember that I am the daughter of the King.  Because truly that is all that really matters.   

Tiff~

Don't Just Focus On The Outside

"Your adornment must not be merely external, braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NASB)

In my quiet time a couple of days ago, this passage literally jumped and smacked me in the face.  I had read it many times before, and I am quite certain I could recite it back to you if you ever asked me about it.  The truth is, it hadn't really grabbed ahold of  my heart until Friday.  The reason this passage really struck a chord with me was because that very day I was complaining about my hair and how it needed to be done, and that I needed new clothes because I was so sick of wearing my maternity clothes. I was so focused on my outer appearance (and to be fair my hair does look atrocious and I do need new clothes, but that is beside the point right now) that I wasn't really worried about the condition of my heart and whether I was nourishing it spiritually and working towards being beautiful inside.  To be sure, I was humbled by this passage.

Often times there are folks in christianity who take this verse to the EXTREME and feel that any effort made towards looking attractive, stylish and put together is vain and unnecessary. After all, the bible does say do not focus on the external but rather internal does it not?  But I don't exactly take it that far.  I, and others, do not feel that I need to forgo my efforts in keeping up my personal appearance just to appear holy! I will even go so far as to say that I am a happily married woman, and quite frankly, I would like to stay that way and I want my husband to think I am hot! I don't want him to come home to a wife  who has been spit up on, peed on and hadn't taken a shower all day!  That is soooo not hot! The bible merely asks us to consider our actions and to not become so obsessed with our outer appearance, which will fade, wrinkle, droop over time as we age, that we forget to nurture our relationship with Christ and focus on becoming more like Him daily. 

I want to be more like Him.  Will I sometimes have to sacrifice my desire for a new outfit or not have the latest thing on the market? Of course.  I shop at Forever21,  I have never been to Beverly Hills and quite frankly my hair is often two months overdue for color.  But I am okay with that.  I am learning that I will appear far more beautiful to others and more importantly to my Lord when my heart and attitude reflects the one I profess to serve and adore.  I have by no means perfected having a gentle and quiet spirit, but I am striving, taking in His word and praying it permeates my heart and my mind.  That in the end, when I go home and meet with my Savior face to face, He will say to me "Well done my faithful daughter. Welcome home."

And that makes looking heavenward so much more appealing each day.  Soon and very soon.....

Tiff~  

39 weeks and needing thicker skin

So I am 39 weeks along. BBH will be here hopefully soon and I am praying that I go into labor on my own sometime this week. My doctor stated that he will induce at 41 weeks if he isn't out by then. I really, really don't want to be induced. Many of you know that I want to have an intervention free delivery (barring any actual complications) and an induction would really make it hard to accomplish that. LOL!

I have learned today that I need thicker skin. In my post yesterday, I wasn't trying to be insensitive but merely pointing out a trend that I see in our culture. I mentioned it on facebook as well and let's just say that someone wasn't really happy with me. I was not judging anyone but they felt the need to personally attack me about my thoughts on the subject.

That hurt.

I can understand not agreeing with me, but don't attack me. It really hurt my feelings. Again this is one of those situations where I need to take this person, whom I love very much, before the Lord and leave it His feet. The sting of those words may not go away but I can have peace knowing that I am honoring my heavenly Father and I can remain in fellowship with Him wihout having an evil or hurtful thought in my heart towards this person. And I can forgive them, even when it is not asked for or merited. Nothing I have done is worthy of the forgiveness and mercy God showed me when He sent His only Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us.

To end this post, since I mentioned in the last post that it disturbed me that there was far more emotion towards the passing of a celebrity than of the pain in the world, I want you to check out some of my favorite organizations in my Make A Difference/Change The World tab on my navigation bar. I am very very passionate about those who don't have enough to eat, enslaved in sex trafficking and The AIDS/HIV crisis.

In Him!

Tiffany

When someone hurts you...pray.

I am going to be very honest here.  I have had this on my heart for awhile now and yesterday, the reality of it all came to a sudden crashing halt as I realized just the kind of woman I tend to become when I am hurt. 

I don't pray for my enemies. Or really for those who I feel have wronged me or my family.

In fact, I seek to find revenge, list all the things that they do wrong when they dare to point out my indescretions and write them off as someone who is unworthy of prayer or encouragement.  I found myself thinking this way about someone in particular yesterday and it startled me.  I literally felt as if the Lord grabbed my heart out of my chest and thrust it in front of the mirror so that I could see the ugliness that was trapped and buried inside there.  It wasn't a pretty sight.  I was disgusted and abhorred by the fact that I, a pastor's wife, could be capable of feeling such animosity towards someone and not think twice of it. 

Praise Him that He revealed it to me. 

It all started when Dan called me this morning about an important duty that we had been neglecting.  Really, I am glad he called because it needed to be addressed but I felt bad for him since he was the one who had to deal with it and bear the brunt of the consequences.  I didn't like the fact that my husband felt irresponsible and like a failure in a certain area.  My husband works hard. He works very hard and I take it so personally when someone doesn't realize just how hard he works and yet he is criticized.  Of course criticism and correction come with the territory and that I should ready to accept it when it comes as long as it lines up with God's word. 

But for some reason that doesn't keep me from thinking ugly thoughts about the person who says them. 

So last night I had to submit those thoughts to the Lord in prayer and ask for His forgiveness.  And then I did something I hadn't done in a long time for this person.  I prayed for them. Even though I was hurt, even though I was angry and I didn't really feel like bringing this person to the Lord....I had to do it.  It was the Lord directing my words and my heart to pray for this person.

This isn't always the easy thing to do. Who am I kidding. This is the HARDEST thing a person can do sometimes. 

This verse really reminds me that in order to have peace with self and often with others...we must kneel before our Father and leave it all at His feet:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Phil 4:6)

This verse is often applied to the worries of our life and struggles and this is very true. But I feel that this verse can also apply to when we feel any anxiousness, weariness or animosity towards individuals.  Lay it all at His feet.

How can my mouth confess to know and love the Lord yet I harbor angry feelings towards someone in my heart and on my lips? 

James 3:9

"With it (the tongue) we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God."

Does that send shivers down your spine? How easily we can be influenced by our feelings towards an individual...we praise our heavenly Father one minute and yet speak evil about someone in another minute. 

As James says...This cannot be. 

So I am working on my tongue. And my heart.  It isn't an easy thing to do, but I know that God will be honored and I want to obey Him and enjoy fellowship with Him.  I do not want this sin in my life to keep me from a deep, loving and passionate relationship with the One who saved my soul from certain death.  I hope and pray that for those who struggle with the same thing, this is your prayer as well. 

Blessings,

Tiff~

Feeling Inspired

Today is just absolutely gorgeous.  I have to admit that I am a little sad that it is supposed to rain tomorrow, but I will just pray that it will end by Thursday so that it doesn't rain for Madi's party on Saturday. 

Today is one of those days where everything is inspiring me and offering bits of encouragement and sunshine into my life.  I seem to have a little skip to my step as I go throughout my day at work.  I was in spired by scripture this morning.  You may think that the Old Testament has nothing worth reading but today, this scripture spoke to my heart about my Heavenly Father....and how He is a nurturing parent to me as well as a righteous judge.  Oh thank you Lord for your tidbits of truth that you offer my heart daily. 

Hosea 11:1-4

"When Israel was a youth I loved him,

And out of Egypt I called my son.

The more they called them,

the more they went from them;

They kept sacrificing to the Baals

and burning incense to idols.

Yet it is I who taught Ephraim to walk,

I took them in my arms;

But they did not know that I healed them.

I led them with cords of a man, with bonds of love,

And I became to them as one who lifts the yoke from their jaws;

And I bent down and fed them."

Can you just imagine our Father bending down to feed His Children? Opening His mouth wide to teach and coach us to eat and be filled?  Like a Mommy does to her child?  This study was from Beth Moore and she had a quote that I found so interesting and eye opening that I HAVE to share it with all of you!

"We will never be successful as parents to our children until we are successful at being children to our Heavenly Father."

What a reminder that our God is not only our Savior.....but also a nurturing and loving Parent to us. His Children.

What other ways have I been inspired today? 

Creating Keepsakes May Issue had this fantastic idea of "A Day in the Life" by spending an entire day by either hiring a professional photographer or doing it yourself and taking photos of your day.  Of how you interact  as a family, your activities and anything else you can think of.  I love the idea so much!  I think it would be a perfect way to tell a story about the Harper's and how we interact daily.  If you haven't picked up an issue you MUST. There are so many fantastic ideas in there.  It is wonderful.

I received a brand new headband from my new fave Etsy shop. I wanted to save it for my baby shower but it was just too adorable to leave in my drawer today.  So I took it out.

 

Martha Stewart has been blowing my mind lately with ideas of how to dress up plain baby clothes by using old button down shirts. So instead of getting mad that hubby has a billion he doesn't wear anymore and deciding to throw them out....I think I am going to steal a few and see what I can come up with.  I mean seriously isn't that the coolest thing ever?   Check out Monday's video "Green Good things" Blew my mind yesterday. I told Dan about it but I think he is skeptical about me cutting up his old shirts. LOL! If you don't wear them...they are MINE! =)

There are so many things I want to start doing right now. I miss scrapbooking and I want to start sewing and creating things with fabric.  Perhaps I should write down a list of goals to accomplish in the next few years. 

I am curious....what inspires you?

Blessings,

Tiff~

I am a proud wifey!

My darling husband preached at all main services this past weekend.  I know I may be biased because he is my man but man he just did awesome. I think each time he preaches he gets better and better! And so many gave such encouraging and wonderful thoughts in regards to his message.  It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.  Go Dan!

A few of our family members were able to make it to the service but I wanted to let you know (and show off a little bit) you can view his sermon here.  I think you will enjoy it.  He spoke on the disciple Peter. Oh how we can all relate and learn from Peter.

Last night at Illuminate it was the third week of our Pure Sex Series. We had an open mic night and had a panel of Pastors and their spouses on stage to answer questions that our students had in regards to relationships and sex.  And oh boy did they bring it! I mean they asked some really, really good questions.  We had such a great time up there and I hope that those of you who were able to attend had your questions answered. 

We will continue next week with a look into my own testimony.  Please pray for me as I am so emotional about getting up there and sharing a part of my story that I have yet to really share with a lot of people.  May God be glorified in me.  And let's just be honest I am completely nervous!!! Speaking in front of folks is not my forte. That is all hubby! =)

Have a wonderful Monday.  Madi and daddy are hanging out today while I am at work. I hope they have a great time and oh how I wish I were with them right now. 

Tiff~

BBH is no longer BBH =)

We finally decided on a name for our little guy.  I had to give my husband a week to really think about it since he didn't want his son to have a pansy name.  He is very particular about that stuff.  So without further ado I am happy to announce that BBH will now be known as:

LOGAN DANIEL HARPER

We are so excited.  And I am excited that I don't have to call Logan BBH anymore.  I mean I was starting to feel bad that this poor kid didn't have name. I realize I had until a couple days after birth to decide, but if you know me then you know I just can't wait that long. I must have it all planned already.

Tonight I get to see my two besties for dinner.  I haven't seen them since Christmas since our lives  have been incredibly busy and exhausting. One friend was so busy with award season (she is a pretty big deal) and the other is busy with trying to help find people work in this lousy economy (she is also a pretty big deal). And I work at APU. LOL! j/k.

I just want to remind everyone that this weekend we kick off our Pure Sex series!!!! The Illuminate team is really excited and we are praying that God reveals Himself as we talk about relationships and how to glorify God whether single, engaged, married etc.  And don't forget Dan and I will be answering some of your questions after the message, so come with your hearts and ears open. 

Will write more tomorrow.  I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday!!!!

Tiff~

 

 

A Heart At Peace

I have finally gotten into a groove again when it comes to my studying.  This weekend I acted so funky and I was gently reminded of what happens when you don't fill yourself with the Holy Spirit each and everyday. 

I told Dan this and his response was "Praise Jesus!"  I guess I was that bad.

In my study today we are going over the third characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit...Peace. I feel like each characteristic hits me in different ways.  And at the exact moment when I need to really learn about it and seek it! This week I have definitely felt the turmoil in my soul as I think about our financial situation and the fact that we have a baby coming along.  I have absolutely lost sleep over it. 

So I am directed to read the first 3 chapters of Job.  I was almost skeptical to read it because I am familiar with the story (as many of us are) but again I am reminded that we can always glean new wisdom in famiiar places. We can see things that we probably missed the first few times we looked at a passage, picture etc.

What really captured my attention was chapter 3.  Job was in turmoil. That awful feeling in the pit of your stomach when you just feel out of control and unsure of how to move when the circumstances around you seem overpowering and they are towering on top of you. They are bigger than you could have absolutely dreamed of and you cry out but feel no one understands what you are feeling, thinking, wanting, desiring.  It can be a lonely place, that place of turmoil. That lack of inner peace.

But I know One who can provide it. And I am asking myself why I so often forget to seek His peace that only He can bring.

This verse captured my heart:

"A heart at peace gives life to the body" Proverbs 14:30

Pray that God can give you His peace in the areas of your greatest need.  I can guarantee He will, even if the situation does not get better. 

Tiff~

I went to bed at 8:30 last night

I know that isn't very exciting for you all to know, but it is the reason that I do not have a recap of what happened last night on the Bachelor. Actually, it was just the Women Tell All episode and while I truly enjoy hearing what every woman has to say about their experience on the show, I just couldn't keep my eyes open for very long. Before I knew it I had cuddled up to my body pillow (that I purchased for $10 at Walmart..SCORE!) and I was sawing logs. I would say I feel really refreshed after going to bed that early, but Madison decided to throw a screaming fit at 2 AM. 

And why did I decide to add a newborn into the mix?

Anyway, I hope that those of you who read my blog enjoyed my sharing with you all that I learned about Agape.  I am learning that I truly love to share what I learn through my studies with others and I pray that God will honor that and use it somehow.  But for right now, blogging works for me and I am just fine with that.  I love having this blog and typing out my thoughts, fears, desires and anything else I can think of has really helped me grow as an individual and rediscover the joy I have in writing.  It is something I have put aside for awhile because I believed that I really don't have a place in the writing world. A goal I had as a high school student was to someday be an author. 

I love how dreams from your childhood resurface after they have been buried for so many years.   Life is funny like that.  

Today in my study I began to learn a bit about the second characteristic of the Fruit of the Spirit: JOY. Let me just tell you that I am just in awe of what God is doing to my heart. It is like he is literally taking my heart apart and rearranging it.  He is opening my eyes, heart and ears to His Word and to His very heart.  I truly believe you cannot know the heart of God without knowing His Word.  I fear so many christians don't understand this.  Know Him! 

Beth Moore challenged us to take joy in the fact that our names are written in heaven.  As Jesus told the 72 who came back from their trip:

"Do not rejoice that the Spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." Luke 10:20

Salvation belongs to God and it is His gift to give to us. Through grace we have been given the gift of Salvation. We did nothing to earn it yet Jesus sacrificed His own life so that we may be able to obtain it and that my friends should be our greatest JOY! 

I am having a blast in all that I am learning can you tell =).

For those of you who attend Illuminate, I hope you are excited for our upcoming series beginning March 8th.  If you missed the announcement, we will begin the series called "Pure Sex" and we will be going through the Song of Solomon.  I am excited to partake in part of this series alongside Dan as we allow you guys to ask us any questions you may have.  I hope you bring it.  We will pray over every question and answer with honesty as we humbly share some of our own mistakes and successes in our relationship with each other.  It is going to be a blast, but I am nervous because I have a fear of speaking in front of crowds. Dan is the speaker, I am the writer. It all works out. 

I hope you all are having a wonderful Tuesday.  Will write more tomorrow.

Tiff~ 

Agape

Hello friends!!! This past weekend was amazing and so refreshing.  I got to spend quality time with my family, clean house and get in some good time with my Lord.  I have to be honest and confess that these past few weeks I have totally slacked on reading my bible or just spending any time with Him period. It was no wonder I was feeling so out of sorts, sick (emotionally!), and tempermental! I was not living in the Spirit.  So I had to change that. 

Praise God that He is a God of renewal and second (or third or fourth) chances!  This week I reopened my study with Beth Moore "Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit". Guess what God decided to speak straight into my heart about?

Agape.

Do you know what Agape is? I thought I did. I had heard the phrase used so many times before whether in jest or in conversation or study.  But truly, I needed to understand what that word means in context. What it means in relationship to Jesus and to me and to others.

My friends, what I am about to reveal is EYE OPENING! If your heart is not impacted by this....then you need to ask yourself why. 

Beth asks us to read 1 Corinthians 13...you know the LOVE chapter.  At first I groaned.  Because I had read this verse a million times and heard it recited a million times before at weddings (haven't we all?). But when I replaced it with the word Agape...it started to take on a different meaning and put a new perspective on a familiar verse. Humor me as I type this out for you:

Love (Agape) is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Cor. 13:4-8)

What is agape?  Beth broke it down for us as to what Agape is and I hope that these definitions help you gain a better understanding of the first quality listed in the fruit of the spirit.

Agape is a divine capacity to love. Only God is capable of Agape

Agape is more a response than a feeling

Agape is fueled by the needs rather than the desires of self or others

Agape is expressed through me when I surrender to the empowerment and temperment of the Holy Spirit

Agape is  always demonstrated. 

Did you catch all that? Only God is capable through Agape. It more of a response. Can only be expressed through us through the Holy Spirit. Always demonstrates.

Beth had us read 3 different scriptures that showed us agape in action:

Romans 5:8; 1 John 3:16; 1 John 4:9.

I'll type out one:

"This is how God showed his love (agape) among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him." (1 John 4:9)

It has already been demonstrated for us.  And then we read John 17.

I am going to type this out, but please know this is very long (for a blog at least). I just felt that it must be typed out because I wanted so badly to share with you what I have learned about agape and what that truly means. Plus, if you have ever doubted Jesus's love for you, may you truly know here in His prayer for us.

"Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.

I have revealed you to those whome you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name- the name you gave me- so that they may be one as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.

I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Santify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I santify myself, that they too my be truly santified.

My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe you have sent me. I have given them the glory that ou gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you know to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."

Did you read all that? He loved us that much to pray for those then and for us now.  I have to admit I literally cried after reading this.  Studying the word agape has opened my eyes to just how much God truly loves us and how He demonstrated that to us. And now He commands us to demonstrate that SAME AGAPE to others.  "Love (agape) the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love (agape) your neighbor as yourself." (Matt. 22:37-39)

God is so good to teach me these things. He has shown me that I often do not love as He loves me. I don't often demonstrate agape towards my husband or my family. How sad is that?  My heart has been dissected and He is reshaping me and molding me more and more to be more like Him. To have a heart like His and renewing my mind to yield to the Spirit. Oh how God is so good to reveal His heart to me. 

Blessings everyone,

Tiff~