Tiffany Harper

Who Am I?

I read this today over at Incourage and I have to say it completely spoke to me.

I also feel intimidated by other women: 

Those women who possess this sweet and loving demeanor where I am loud and obnoxious.  

Women who are in touch with their emotions and can describe what they are feeling to others.

 I have the hardest time at just letting people  what I really want to do for the day....let alone describe my emotions.  

Women who appear to have this unique bond with God that I don't seem to have. 

Yet I too confess Him as Lord and Savior. So why do I feel like I am falling short of being a woman? Why do I feel as if I am not good enough just the way I am? Why do I feel the need to emulate someone else?

Holly's post said it all really. We are not enough, but in Him we are so much more than pretty. We are precious in His eyes.  We are the daughter of the TRUE KING!  If I really embraced this truth, if I really kept it safe in my heart. If I really and truly refused to listen to Satan telling me that I am not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, creative enough, motherly enough, loving enough, spiritual enough.....then Satan's lies would on deaf ears.  My heart and my mind would not receive them because I chose to listen to God's truth.

Philippians says: "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." (Phil. 4:8 NAS)

My fellow sisters, Satan will NEVER provide truth or anything lovely to you.  He is the father of all lies and deceit.  As women, with our gentle hearts we can often fall prey to his lies.  I pray you don't! I pray you embrace your uniqueness in Christ.  In how God designed and fashioned you.  

The photo above is from my iPhone.  It is blurry, imperfect.  And it is one of my favorites of myself.  I am hardly wearing any makeup, I have dark circles under my eyes due to being up countless hours with a newborn (and a 3 year old but that is a different post) and I am physically exhausted.  But I love this photo because it speaks the truth.  I may not be a raging beauty, but I am beautiful in Christ.  I may be imperfect, but praise the Lord that He sent His only Son on the cross to bear my sins when in reality, I should have been there instead.  That with His blood being shed for me and for us all, we are made PERFECT.  

I am going to do my best to embrace this little domestic diva wannabe, as imperfect as she is....and strive to be more like Him. To remember that I am the daughter of the King.  Because truly that is all that really matters.   

Tiff~

Just what is courage?

On Sunday night while driving home from another amazing night with our young adult ministry ,Illuminate, my husband said something to me that quite frankly took me by surprise.

"Honey, I am really starting to realize just how much I love you and how strong you are."

Then he went on to list how he things I am so brave for still trying to nurse Sean even though it is really hard for us. Or that I get up at all hours of the night to take care of him and our three year old daughter (who should sleep through the night, but as parents we know how that goes). I would never consider myself strong, courageous and mighty. I just tell myself that these are the things that need to be done. And if I need some help from Mr. Coffee Pot so be it. ;)

But his words provided just the encouragement I needed in order to be courageous, strong and mighty. Sometimes all it takes are sweet, gentle and kind words to give you the boost you need in order to get through some of the roughest of days. As a mommy of now two little rascals, some days are just really hard. Add that to the fact that my dear husband is in ministry and we both work together to serve our students the best we can.

Sometimes all it takes are a few moments in your knees in prayer to Him who provides the encouragement and strength you will need.

When I see another person struggling and in need, sometimes just pausing to offer encouragement to that individual so that they can have courage.

And speaking of encouragement, are you in need of some today? Please take a moment to visit my new favorite website: http://www.incourage.me. There you will meet other women, like yourselves, who have gone through periods of life where they have needed encouragement and/or faced moments of courage. It is beautiful really, when you realize that we truly are not alone in this life. That God provides just what we need when we need it. I hope you will stop by and say hello.

Tiff

Don't Just Focus On The Outside

"Your adornment must not be merely external, braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NASB)

In my quiet time a couple of days ago, this passage literally jumped and smacked me in the face.  I had read it many times before, and I am quite certain I could recite it back to you if you ever asked me about it.  The truth is, it hadn't really grabbed ahold of  my heart until Friday.  The reason this passage really struck a chord with me was because that very day I was complaining about my hair and how it needed to be done, and that I needed new clothes because I was so sick of wearing my maternity clothes. I was so focused on my outer appearance (and to be fair my hair does look atrocious and I do need new clothes, but that is beside the point right now) that I wasn't really worried about the condition of my heart and whether I was nourishing it spiritually and working towards being beautiful inside.  To be sure, I was humbled by this passage.

Often times there are folks in christianity who take this verse to the EXTREME and feel that any effort made towards looking attractive, stylish and put together is vain and unnecessary. After all, the bible does say do not focus on the external but rather internal does it not?  But I don't exactly take it that far.  I, and others, do not feel that I need to forgo my efforts in keeping up my personal appearance just to appear holy! I will even go so far as to say that I am a happily married woman, and quite frankly, I would like to stay that way and I want my husband to think I am hot! I don't want him to come home to a wife  who has been spit up on, peed on and hadn't taken a shower all day!  That is soooo not hot! The bible merely asks us to consider our actions and to not become so obsessed with our outer appearance, which will fade, wrinkle, droop over time as we age, that we forget to nurture our relationship with Christ and focus on becoming more like Him daily. 

I want to be more like Him.  Will I sometimes have to sacrifice my desire for a new outfit or not have the latest thing on the market? Of course.  I shop at Forever21,  I have never been to Beverly Hills and quite frankly my hair is often two months overdue for color.  But I am okay with that.  I am learning that I will appear far more beautiful to others and more importantly to my Lord when my heart and attitude reflects the one I profess to serve and adore.  I have by no means perfected having a gentle and quiet spirit, but I am striving, taking in His word and praying it permeates my heart and my mind.  That in the end, when I go home and meet with my Savior face to face, He will say to me "Well done my faithful daughter. Welcome home."

And that makes looking heavenward so much more appealing each day.  Soon and very soon.....

Tiff~  

Death of celebrities

I am sure that everyone has heard about the sudden passing of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Ed Mcmahon. It really is a sad day when an individual dies. My hope is that each of these individuals knew Jesus Christ as their Savior so that they will experience true peace and healing in the arms of the Lord.

But you know what really gets me? Twitter and facebook were updated constantly in regards to the death of these celebrities (I had tweeted as well) an yet every single day we have human beings dying from AIDS/HIV, hunger, war crimes and rape....yet we don't see nearly the same amount of traffic in regards to these situations. I am not trying to put myself on a pedestal for I often find myself getting caught up in pop culture. I am ashamed to admit it but it is true. I like to read the gossip magazines. But I don't want to be one of those individuals who is so obsessed with celebrity that I forget about those who truly need the media coverage and our help!

So why don't our cable news cover crimes against humanity more than celebrity fashion and controversy? Entertainment. And constantly hearing about people starving in Africa can become weary after awhile. But don't forget them. That should be something that makes us cry. We should be disgusted and brought to tears over something like that. We can make a difference in the life of another individual if we really wanted to. I enjoyed MJ's music, but I am not going to cry over his death or write a eulogy.

I am sad for the families who are experiencing the loss of a beloved family member. My prayers are with them today and I can only hope they are able to be comforted today. I am not trying to sound insensitive although I am sure this may come off that way. I just find it sort of interesting.

Tiffany

Angel's Pitcher Nick Adenhart

I am sure many of you have heard this morning about the tragic death of Los Angeles Angels Pitcher Nick Adenhart.  If you haven't, here is the story.

I know so many people ask why things like this happen, especially to those who are so talented and seem to have so much going for them.  Honestly, sometimes I ask myself the same question.  Why do children get cancer?  And why are some healed and not others?  What's the point?  The question I get a lot from our college students is why do bad things happen to good people?

I have blogged about this before.  I believe it is something that needs to be repeated over and over again because so often we as humans on this earth are hit with circumstances beyond our control. And we experience pain and a lack of PEACE that seems insurmountable and impossible to overcome.  I don't know this young man.  I watched him play last night as many of you did.  And I was in awe of how talented he was. But it reminded me this morning of just how fragile and short our time on earth really is.

We are never promised that we will live for years and see our children grow old and live pain free lives.  I myself can testify to having pain in my own life.  Losing a child through miscarriage is no picnic and those who have had similar circumstances will probabaly agree with me. I didn't want to be apart of that club.  But I had and still have peace in my soul.  That my Savior, my God, My Heavenly Father....the One who Sacrificed His only Son for me so that I would have a spot next to Him in heaven......He has given me peace.  So regardless of my circumstances, regardless of the pain I may experience in this lifetime, regarldess of whether or not my life turns out how I planned it or wished it....He has a purpose for me.  It gives me peace to know that He is always by my side and that He knows exactly what I am going through.  After all, He lost a child too.  His ONLY CHILD. 

You have probably seen the License plate holders that have this message: Know God Know Peace: No God No Peace.

And I am sure that to some of us we roll our eyes and say "Oh how cheesy!!!!!!"  And maybe it is.  But there is truth to it I believe.  True Peace comes only from the Holy Spirit. 

I feel as if I am rambling on this post.  That my words are becoming jumbled and that I am not being clear.  I think I will end this post with a verse:

Trust in Him at all times, O people;

Pour our your hearts to Him,

For God is our refuge."

Psalm 62:8

Tiff~

 

Oh my goodness!

I am almost 6 months pregnant.  In fact on Saturday I will officially be 25 weeks along.  I cannot believe how quickly time is flying by with this pregnancy. I really feel like I just discovered that I was expecting.  Now I cannot wait to hold him. Almost done!

And since I accidentally deleted my post from Monday I will post my updated photo of the belly again:

 

And can I just say I love that dress?  I need more dresses to wear around the house and when I go out. They are FAR more comfortable then wearing pants.  =)

I seriously want to go shopping.  I mean really bad.  I have bills to pay first which I am not looking forward to, but I have been browsing the internet for some cute finds for now and for after BBH is here.

Cute cardigans and shoes from Forever21:

 

 

 

Shoes that I absolutely cannot find anywhere in my size, although a good friend told me  Ross may have them. I will have to look!

 

Fun dresses from Anthropologie which I could never afford but it is fun to dream:

 

 

And this is another Etsy site that I absolutely love.  Some fun items here. Oh and this one too.

Have a wonderful Thursday!!!!!

Tiff~

A lesson in Patience

So I am studying in my bible 4th characteristic of the fruit of the spirit...Patience.  You know when people say whenever you ask for patience you get a whole bucket load of stuff to be patient about?

Yeah.

Let's see, yesterday I accidentally deleted an entire post I did on Monday, even though all I wanted to do was delete a couple of pictures.  But nope. Somehow I pressed DELETE POST instead. *sigh* so you will get a recap of my obsessions in regards to the world of shopping either tonight or tomorrow.

And again yesterday. At 5:30 pm while picking up my daughter from her babysitter's house...someone  backed into my car.

 

 

 

I so wish I could say "You should see the other guy!" But I can't. Her backtire did my hood in.  I was so surprised I didn't hyperventilate!  Seriously it was the Holy Spirit. Because otherwise I would have cried hysterically and not really known what to do! I am a little bit dramatic you know. I felt really bad for the gal who hit me because she had never been in an accident and she was really afraid to tell her Dad.  I totally understand!  We were able to exhange information so I am sure it will all work out.  What a lesson though huh?  Although I would have much preferred not to have my car looking so beat up  and ghetto to teach me about patience....but what's the fun in that I guess! LOL!

Oh and Madi and I were not in the car when it happened. So that is a praise!!!!!

Maybe to soothe my ugly car ego I will just browse over to Miss RubySue's shop and ummm get that necklace I told you about......

Blessings,

Tiff~

Monday wasn't much better

In fact, Monday was another really horrible day.  I don't think I have cried so hard in all my life.  I wrote to my MIL about our situation and she was so comforting and affirming.  She didn't take sides at all in the situation (which is what parents are supposed to do....I think you can see where I am going with this....) and was so encouraging. 

She wrote that Satan is really working overtime in this whole situation.  I have an aunt diagnosed with breast cancer and is seeking encouragement through scripture, my sister Sheena is getting married and God is doing awesome things at Illuminate.  He does not want us to succeed.  He wants us to fail and not expand the kingdom of God.  I want to keep going, to keep fighting..but I have to be honest, my family and how they have treated me the last few days makes me not want to fight anymore.  Sometimes, I wish I weren't a christian so I could just say whatever I felt like. To hurt them with words the way they hurt me with their words. To complete cut them off and never see them again. They didn't just hurt me. They hurt my husband and that infuriates me.  What also hurts the most is that my family took sides and they made it very clear whose side they chose.

I refuse to go through the details.  While I really want to and I want to so badly make them look bad and see how selfish they have behaved, I am also smart enough to know that doing so won't make me look any better. In fact, I could tarnish the name of Jesus and that is something Dan and I both don't want to do.  I know what He means now by turning the other cheek. As painful as it is, I will do it. I can't even type about this without wanting to run to the bathroom again and just cry it all out.  Again and again and again and again.  But I will do it.

This person can have what they want.  We no longer want something so ugly and selfish associated with our innocent and precious son.  God was gracious to give us a child...a son no less...and I know that He will provide for us a name that will fit him and perhaps even our situation.  One that will bring glory to our Father.  I also know that I must not stop praying for my family. Praying that they would come to know Peace through Christ because they truly have none.  That even though my heart is broken by their words and their actions and even though I may not want to share Christ with them I know that hell is not something to wish on anyone.  I deserve hell and God forgave me through the blood of His Son Jesus.  I should be praying that they too seek this kind of redemption.  I won't let Satan have his way. 

This does not mean that I will be a doormat for anyone's abuse. Boundaries will be set, but forgiveness and reconciliation will always be offered. Because frankly....that is what I see when I think of Christ on the cross.

Tiff~

BBH is no longer BBH =)

We finally decided on a name for our little guy.  I had to give my husband a week to really think about it since he didn't want his son to have a pansy name.  He is very particular about that stuff.  So without further ado I am happy to announce that BBH will now be known as:

LOGAN DANIEL HARPER

We are so excited.  And I am excited that I don't have to call Logan BBH anymore.  I mean I was starting to feel bad that this poor kid didn't have name. I realize I had until a couple days after birth to decide, but if you know me then you know I just can't wait that long. I must have it all planned already.

Tonight I get to see my two besties for dinner.  I haven't seen them since Christmas since our lives  have been incredibly busy and exhausting. One friend was so busy with award season (she is a pretty big deal) and the other is busy with trying to help find people work in this lousy economy (she is also a pretty big deal). And I work at APU. LOL! j/k.

I just want to remind everyone that this weekend we kick off our Pure Sex series!!!! The Illuminate team is really excited and we are praying that God reveals Himself as we talk about relationships and how to glorify God whether single, engaged, married etc.  And don't forget Dan and I will be answering some of your questions after the message, so come with your hearts and ears open. 

Will write more tomorrow.  I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday!!!!

Tiff~

 

 

A Heart At Peace

I have finally gotten into a groove again when it comes to my studying.  This weekend I acted so funky and I was gently reminded of what happens when you don't fill yourself with the Holy Spirit each and everyday. 

I told Dan this and his response was "Praise Jesus!"  I guess I was that bad.

In my study today we are going over the third characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit...Peace. I feel like each characteristic hits me in different ways.  And at the exact moment when I need to really learn about it and seek it! This week I have definitely felt the turmoil in my soul as I think about our financial situation and the fact that we have a baby coming along.  I have absolutely lost sleep over it. 

So I am directed to read the first 3 chapters of Job.  I was almost skeptical to read it because I am familiar with the story (as many of us are) but again I am reminded that we can always glean new wisdom in famiiar places. We can see things that we probably missed the first few times we looked at a passage, picture etc.

What really captured my attention was chapter 3.  Job was in turmoil. That awful feeling in the pit of your stomach when you just feel out of control and unsure of how to move when the circumstances around you seem overpowering and they are towering on top of you. They are bigger than you could have absolutely dreamed of and you cry out but feel no one understands what you are feeling, thinking, wanting, desiring.  It can be a lonely place, that place of turmoil. That lack of inner peace.

But I know One who can provide it. And I am asking myself why I so often forget to seek His peace that only He can bring.

This verse captured my heart:

"A heart at peace gives life to the body" Proverbs 14:30

Pray that God can give you His peace in the areas of your greatest need.  I can guarantee He will, even if the situation does not get better. 

Tiff~