A couple of Sundays ago at Illuminate, Dan and I had a Q & A with the group.
It was a lot of fun! I don't often get the chance to be onstage with my husband during his messages, so this is always a special treat for me.
At one point though I had to address the ladies about something that I have seen, as well as done too many times myself, whenever a relationship does not pan out. Or it ends badly.
And while watching the Bachelor Pad last night with Dan and observing the antics of Vienna....I stand even firmer on my point.
Ladies, I do not want to sound rude but sometimes we just need to put our big girl panties on when it comes to breakups. You can really tell how mature an individual is by how they react to uncomfortable situations.
If you were in a relationship, and it ended, and it ended badly.....then let it die. Try your very best to move on. But whatever you do, don't try and talk bad about the guy. If he was jerk well trust me, it will all be revealed that he is a jerk. The next girl that dates him will see it.
And please spare me this: "I am just trying to warn the other girls..."
No. If it is your best friend or sister, then I might consider this excuse. But chances are that they witnessed the demise of this relationship and they are not interested in dating your ex. The real reason for talking bad about someone isn't to warn them. It is to create drama. And it does not make you look sweet girl.
It makes you look like a drama queen, bitter, jealous etc. And those are not pretty characteristics. Nor does it glorify God.
In no way am I trying to be harsh. (Guys you should probably listen to this as well). But I believe this is a huge mistake that all of us have made, including me! And I hated how I felt after I bad mouthed an ex.
Yes the pain of a relationship ending is very real and can be very raw and agonizing. I have been there! The healing might take awhile. Again, been there! But gossipping about another individual will not help with the pain. Surrounding yourself with those you love, praying and seeking God and time will close all wounds.
And I would like to leave a little disclaimer. This is not talking about abusive relationships (physical, emotional or spiritual). Clearly, those relationships must be dealt with by your pastor and/or your local law enforcement. I am talking about regular, relatively healthy and normal dating relationships that just don't work out. Just thought I would put that out there because I know someone would probably point that out.
Praying for you ladies today as you seek God's best and pursue Him and glorify Him.
Blessings to you!